Mad About Multiples!

Extreme Co-Dependency in Twins

By Akemi Bourgeois

How are the twins doing? Are the twins going to be princesses for Halloween? Look at the twins! The twins, the twins, the twins... we parents of twins hear it all the time. We say it, even. The twins.

We dress our twins alike, or in complementary outfits. We send them off together on playdates and to the same activities. We anguish over whether to separate our twins in school. We fear they might lose that special closeness.

Eventually, we start to see our twins as individuals. We hit milestones like the first separate playdate. Our twins outgrow that tell-tale symbol of twins, the double stroller. We start to see our twins cultivate separate friends and interests. Many of us eventually enroll our twins in separate classrooms.

Logistically, all of the togetherness makes sense, especially when the twins are very young. We parents of twins have to weigh the benefits of logistical ease for the familiy against the individual needs of each twin. But recognizing twins as individuals is essential for their emotional well-being. That one twin is passionate about gymnastics while the other prefers to play chess can be a good thing. It might drive mom crazy to have to shuffle her twins around but in the end, a bit - or a lot - of separation can be a good thing. Sometimes, a twin might make a point of presenting herself as distinctly diffferent from her twin by changing the style of her hair or the way she dresses.

Gemini Crickets Super Dad Alex Tea Takes on You Tube

By Akemi Bourgeois

When many of us viewed this video of Gemini Crickets super dad Alex Tea, we couldn't believe our eyes. He's got triplets plus a toddler and he is ALONE* with them AT THE BIG SCARY MALL?

Then we turned to our babysitters and our significant others and to grandma and grandpa and said, "Are you all ready to go with me and the twins to Starbucks?"

So when we found out Alex plans to chronicle his experience as a stay-at-home dad of triplets plus one on his own You Tube channel, you can bet we'll be tuning in.

Now that we know he can conquer the mall, we vote for a how-to-get-through-Costco (or Disneyland or an airport) video next!

We asked Alex a few questions:

How old are your children?
My triplets (ABC) Alexis, Brianna, and Christopher are 3yrs old, and baby D Diana is 2yrs old.

That Sweet Spot: the 100th Day of School

By Akemi Bourgeois

Many of us first time moms had never heard of the 100th Day of School celebrations and what a big deal it has become for younger graders (that's a grade school term for "grade schoolers").

Basically, it's a celebration of reaching the midway mark in the school year. Halfway between September and June, it's that sweet spot in time when the students have settled into a routine with plenty of months ahead to look forward to. It's a bit like a half-birthday.

At most schools, the 100th Day of School occurs in early February; at others, it may arrive a bit later, especially at California schools where looming budget cuts mean furlough days.

Kids can kick start their creative mojo at Affordable Treasures or Michaels or they can shop at home and rummage through the contents of the pantry, a closet or even the backyard. Kids love to use Legos, toothpics, stickers, stamps, buttons, candy and some kids simply draw 100 of something they like. It really does run the gamut.

Here are some examples of what Gemini Crickets kindergartners and 1st graders came up with this year.

 

100, Taro Gomi Style:

The kids in Lisa Potts' twin daughters' kindergarten class were given a sheet of paper with the number 100 written on it and told to make that number into something else. There were all sorts of creative drawings but Lisa's girls? They nearly drew the same thing, despite being at separate tables! How cool is that?

Friday Flashback: When it Doesn't Feel Like Twins

By Akemi Bourgeois

Occasionally, Mad About Multiples will republish a post from our archives. We realize that few readers will take the time to poke around the site so we'd like to bring new life to these old posts by showcasing them from time to time.

Prompted by Tricia's recent post, Twins Too Soon, we thought we'd show the other side of parenting twins because sadly for some, complications at birth may mean that it doesn't always feel like twins (originally posted on April 30, 2010).

Prematurity happens all the time, not just in November, so it's a cause we would like to bring attention to, all the time.

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When I was midway through my pregnancy, I ran into an old acquaintance in a baby care class we were both taking. We soon discovered we were both expecting twins! "Katie" was a few months behind me and I marveled at her tiny belly. My belly was already huge.

My boys were due at the very end of November but arrived just before Halloween. Katie's twins were due in December but arrived before mine did, in September. My boys were born at a good weight and after a brief stint in the NICU by one boy, we soon took home our two babies and got down to the task of parenting newborns. Meanwhile, Katie's twins spent a harrowing first few months in the NICU, trying to survive. (Note: As Katie was more of an acquaintance at the time, I hadn't been aware of the details of her situation until well after her twins were out of the NICU.)

A few months later, I joined a Gemini Crickets playgroup.

The children in my playgroup hit milestones at different times but all within the range of typical development. We playgroup moms watched in awe as our babies blossomed into toddlers and then into preschoolers. We shared in the joy and misery of being outnumbered by our children. We grumbled through the lows and celebrated the highs. Playgroup was a good place to be.

Katie eventually joined the multiples club and even managed to make it to a couple of my playgroup get togethers.

Katie's twins suffered significant delays due to their prematurity and as if that weren't enough, one of her twins had been diagnosed in utero with a moderate to severe congenital disorder. It was only after many months of continued hospital visits and therapy sessions and much support from her family that Katie was able to get out and about with her twins.

Double Click Tuesdays: Snowball Fight?

These twin boys look like trouble. I can say that because I'm their mother. The kid on the right has obvious plans, don't you think? The kid on the left, having been through this before, knows there's a risk in this embrace. It's all in the body language.

This is an original post to Mad About Multiples and is part of the Double Click Tuesdays photo series.

When it Doesn't Feel Like Twins

When I was midway through my pregnancy, I ran into an old acquaintance in a baby care class we were both taking. We soon discovered we were both expecting twins! "Katie" was a few months behind me and I marveled at her tiny belly. My belly was already huge.

My boys were due at the very end of November but arrived just before Halloween. Katie's twins were due in December but arrived before mine did, in September. My boys were born at a good weight and after a brief stint in the NICU by one boy, we soon took home our two babies and got down to the task of parenting newborns. Meanwhile, Katie's twins spent a harrowing first few months in the NICU, trying to survive. (Note: As Katie was more of an acquaintance at the time, I hadn't been aware of the details of her situation until well after her twins were out of the NICU.)

A few months later, I joined a Gemini Crickets playgroup.

The children in my playgroup hit milestones at different times but all within the range of typical development. We playgroup moms watched in awe as our babies blossomed into toddlers and then into preschoolers. We shared in the joy and misery of being outnumbered by our children. We grumbled through the lows and celebrated the highs. Playgroup was a good place to be.

Katie eventually joined the multiples club and even managed to make it to a couple of my playgroup get togethers.

Katie's twins suffered significant delays due to their prematurity and as if that weren't enough, one of her twins had been diagnosed in utero with a moderate to severe congenital disorder. It was only after many months of continued hospital visits and therapy sessions and much support from her family that Katie was able to get out and about with her twins.

Baby Equipment for Twins, Then and Now (a photo journey)

You have twins, therefore, you have baby gear. It's just how it goes. Maybe you started off with a basic stroller, like a double Snap n Go or a Graco Duo Glider. Then perhaps you added a jog stroller and then a side-by-side stroller to your collection and then one day maybe you suddenly realized you'd become a stroller addict? Maybe you wear your babies? When you put your babies down for the night, you surely have a crib or two or three? Do your preferences in baby furniture run traditional? Modern? Fancy Nancyish? Do your twins scoot on a Skuut? Or trail behind dad on a bicycle built for 3? You bought what suited your taste in color, in style, in convenience. Whatever your tastes, whatever your preferences, whatever your price point, you had options. You had Babies R Us, Target, Craigslist and the One Step Ahead catalog.

But what if you were mothering twins back in the sixties? You couldn't just plop your babies in an exersaucer and run to take a shower. You had to improvise, you had to make do with the limited selection of baby gear available at the time and we all know there was little attention paid to making gear for twins! There were no custom rain covers for your double stroller. There really were no double strollers! There were no Learning Tower step stools! There certainly were no car seats with cup holders!

Take a fun walk with us back a couple of decades, circa the mid to late 1960s, through pages of Gemini Crickets club member Karen B's personal photo album. Karen has the rather unique perspective of mothering twins because she is a twin herself!

Karen and her twin sister in an early double stroller which she thinks looks a lot like a grocery cart!

Twindar - Seeing Twins Everywhere

I used to have twindar. If there were twins in the vicinity, my radar would light up. In the early days, when I was pushing the double Snap n Go, I'd pass someone doing the same and we'd give each other a salute of sweet exasperation. Toddler and preschool age twins were also easy to spot, with some of them dressed all matchy matchy and others, like my twins, dressed in complementary outfits. I used to be acutely aware of the presence of another set of twins in the room. "Hi there, I've got twins, too," I would want to cheer. It was like we were all members of an exclusive club.

Sometimes, I was spurned. They've got twins, I've got twins and we're both in the diaper aisle at Target - maybe the other mom will recommend a brand of diapers! "How old are your twins?" I'd ask.  A forced smile and a curt, "six months," and zero eye contact cut short that exchange and I decided to shrink back, not wanting to be spurned again. But you never know, many times, moms of twins have approached me and we've enjoyed a short non-invasive, innocuous conversation. A couple of times, we discovered we were both members of Gemini Crickets. Go with the flow seemed to be the best approach.

Sometimes, I'd get it wrong. "Do you have twins?" I'd ask, only to find out the "twins" were really only 10 months apart ("Irish twins") or that the two babies were cousins, or just two babies being minded by the same nanny. We'd bond on a different level, as mothers, perhaps, rather than as mothers of twins.

Making the Least Bad Choice: 4-year-olds in Kindergarten

I felt the slight sting of her eyes, the disbelief. I rambled on...separate classes, last minute decision, it was the least bad choice. I felt uncomfortable and apologetic. What had I done?

Oh, I might as well say it. I put two 4-year-olds in kindergarten..

4-years-old and in...the new first grade kindergarten.

I KNOW! For shame, I'm a bad mom. My boys will fail. They'll slow down the system, siphoning off a teacher's precious time. It's not like I'd gone into this not knowing. I KNEW the stakes. I'd done the research. I'd queried friends. I'd watched my boys' behavior over the summer, searching for signs of kindergarten readiness.

For the uninitiated, kindergarten readiness has more to do with social readiness than academic readiness. Teachers can bring kids up to speed academically, but they can't teach maturity. My boys are bright and hit most of their milestones early - it's not that. It's mostly because of their age and the plethora of negative anecdotal evidence which abounds.

Save for one family, nobody in my circles, it seems, puts a 4-year-old into kindergarten. I am the odd one out.

Topic Week: Back-to-School (recap)

Legions of multiples have headed back to school this month. Some went to preschool. Others to kindergarten. Others to grade school and beyond. Some are in separate classes while others have been kept together. From parent participation schools to public schools to catholic schools, our multiples are out there learning. It's been a learning experience for us parents as well. Some of us can't bear to be without our children at our side, while others are doing the "drop and flee". We're learning the ins and outs of new schools. Some of us are in our childrens' classrooms, poking around and staying involved. Others of us are working full time. A few of us public school kindergarten moms are shocked - shocked! - that as soon as we arrive with our children at school, the doors slam shut and we have no idea what's going on inside that classroom. Some children recount their entire day, while others remain mute. Some children divulge information in fragments.

So this week on Mad About Multiples, since our children are back in school, we're using those precious extra hours to talk about back-to-school.

We are hoping to get a new post up every day... we'll see!

Original post to Mad About Multiples.

Recap September 22, 2009

Whew - We got through back-to-school! Some of us sent twins off to preschool while some of us sent twins to kindergarten. Either way, It's nice to be back into a routine!

Here's what we discussed:

Pam loves her co-op preschool, worms and all: Back to preschool, Yeah or Boo.

Amy isn't sure who loves preschool more: Who Loves Preschool More, Me or Them?

Akemi second guesses her every move: Making the Least Bad Choice: 4-year-olds in Kindergarten.

Daphne quickly gets use to curbside drop-off: The Convenience Factor of Preschool.

Amy M. likes to be busy: Two Parent Participation Preschools? Call me crazy.

Linsey looks back: Ben and Lily's First Few Weeks of Kindergarten is a Mixed Bag.

Linda is relieved: One Year's Reprieve.

Nora LOVES back-to-school: Back to School? Back to the Museums!!!

Original post to Mad About Multiples.

Navigating Disneyland: On Foot or by Stroller?

We thought we'd republish this post from July 12, 2008 because we know some of you are heading for Disneyland soon!

It was the night before my twin boys' first trip to Disneyland and I was in the final stages of packing up the car. Amazingly, our mini-van was still looking roomy inside. Now that our twins are heading towards their 4th birthday (this fall), we no longer have to haul so much gear along with us. No more diapers, no more Pack n Plays, no more strollers. Woo hoo! Goodbye, mini-van; hello, Prius!

But a tiny voice inside my head put the brake on that idea, whispering, "Bring the stroller."

Bring the stroller? Really?

Ok, I must confess that I still occasionally put my kids in a stroller. It doesn't happen often, but I like to think of my stroller as a sort of safety net. Basically, it's there in the event my kids grow very, VERY tired. My thoughts drifted to the worst case scenario of two tired and cranky boys refusing to walk and hurling themselves to the pavement in a full on tantrum. Did we really want to carry two sleepy and/or uncooperative 40 pounders in 90 plus degree heat while wearing backpacks and carrying a souvenir or two?

Grade School Twins: Separate or Together?

Is Separating Twins Really the Answer? @ Yahoo! Video

Read the full post over on Silicon Valley Moms Blog.

Topic Week Recap: Confessions From Never Say Neverland

Wow - that did feel good! We aired our dirty laundry on a crowded line and nobody told us to take it down. That's how it goes in Never Say Neverland where the dirty laundry never ends and the population keeps climbing. Whether you have singletons or multiples or both, parenting is hard work. There is no perfect parent. There is no perfect parenting style. Parenting is a learning process, one that goes through changes and backtracks and baffling turns. We've learned to be flexible, we've learned not to judge, we've learned to laugh at ourselves and we've learned that what we said we'd do (or not do) before we had kids was totally insane a wee bit idealistic.

A recap of this week's posts:

Akemi/svtwinmom from Chalk and Cheese Chronicles worries her kids are now the bullies in Keeping My Inner Sanctimommy at Bay

Susan from Thoughts from the Delirious Mind tries not to scream at her kids in Never Say Never

Amy T. from Audren and Nathan reassures herself that she was born to be a mom (right?)

Lisa George from The Curious Georges reexamines her views on parenting in My Life, Examined

Mari B. tries to control her kids...and her past judgments in Please Control Yourself

Polly F. from Fox Tales isn't a bad mom, just a flexible one in I'll Never Do That

Linda D/MommyTwinGirls from Solheim Photography admits to Backpedaling on the TV-thing

On behalf of Mad About Multiples, thank you for reading along. Now go and air your dirty laundry. We won't judge you.

Original post to Mad About Multiples.

Turning the Tables: Keeping My Inner Sanctimommy at Bay

Judging The Bully

Out of the corner of my eye, I see him. He's darting about the mommy-and-me gym class like a firecracker. That kid. The bully. The one-whose-mom-should-be-watching-him.

I watch because I know what's coming next and then it happens, the shove. A little kid down and then, crying.

"Last time, the mom took him home to teach him a lesson." My friend whispers to me.

"Unbelievable, " I whisper back.

Judging the Potty Talk

He's backed up against the wall at a birthday party, my son in his adorable Livie and Luca shoes. A few months shy of three with a blossoming personality, and yet, there he is, helpless and crying as two 4-year-old girls hurl insults at him. "You're stupid!" they yell meanly. "You can't do that, poop baby!"

"That's not a nice thing to say," I admonish, scooping up my "baby." How dare they? What brats! Where are the parents?

I carry my teary eyed son over to my husband and say, "You should hear the words that are coming out of the mouths of those very little girls!"

How Do You Tell Them Apart?

He has the more Asian eyes.

There. I'd said it. I hadn't meant to say it. I'd never said it before. But there it was, out in the open: He has the more Asian eyes.

They'd stood there staring at his eyes, at the eyes of his brother, at my eyes. The eyes of strangers darting from boy to boy, trying to tell them apart. Asian eyes - this one. Non-Asian eyes - that one? Is that what she meant?

Cute twin, homely twin? White verses Asian? Aha - she has a favorite! She's proud of his eyes, so much like her own. Asian eyes. No, no - she's embarrassed by his eyes, so much like her own. The Asian twin, more like his mother. The caucasian twin, more like his father.

Stop!

Let's rewind, shall we? He's the one with the goofy grin. His brother has the wider face darker hair bigger feet his shirt on backwards.

Now can you tell the difference? C'mon!

Kindergarten (Un)Readiness

When I was 5 years old, my mother enrolled me in kindergarten at our neighborhood school. I'm sure she didn't poll her friends to see if they'd be enrolling their age eligible kids in kindergarten because for the most part, she already knew. Most of her friends were also enrolling their children in kindergarten at their neighborhood public school. If we were age eligible, we went. It's just how it was done back then, at least in our middle class California neighborhood. Sure, a few went the private school route and a few more enlightened parents held their autumn birthday children (especially boys) back a year; but in doing so, they didn't conduct a massive search to find the "perfect" kinder prep program in the frenzied manner we do today. In fact, the children I know who sat out that first year, did most of the sitting out at home, playing with their siblings. Had I been born an October baby, I'm quite certain my parents would have enrolled me in kindergarten nonetheless and off to kindergarten I might have marched, a shy 4-year-old who might not have been quite ready.

Elf on the Shelf

Elf on the Shelf here. Just back from a seasonal gig at some crazy Silicon Valley house. I had to monitor two boys, age 4 - twins! The mom picked me up as an impulse buy at her neighborhood toy store. It was a rocky start from the moment she lifted me out of my tidy and quiet little box. She said, "He's so tiny. I thought he'd be bigger."

Hello? I'm an elf, a person of diminutive stature. What was she expecting, a Santa sized elf? Man!

Back at her home, I toppled from the various places she tried to put me. I wanted to scream, Try the shelf! I'm Elf on the Shelf, remember? That first night, I ended up at the top of the Christmas tree from which the view was great except that my eyes are permanently glancing to the right. I need to look like I'm studying the children and not the boring ceiling. Fortunately, it was night time when I first met the twins and nobody noticed my wayward gaze. They stared up at me as if I were real. One of them snapped my picture.

The following day, the mom moved me to the top of a heavy picture frame. Again, I had a great view but my eyes were fixated on the window. It hardly gives me credibility with children if I can't make eye contact with them. I made a mental note to stop by Santa's workshop and ask for some posable eyes. Wonder if that would creep the children out if I could follow them with my eyes?

One of the twins stood on tiptoe to get a better look at me. Then he insulted me by asking if I were "just a toy." While I was reeling from that remark, the other boy hurled another one by asking why I didn't have feet or shoes. (Actually, I hadn't noticed and now it does seem a little odd.) The mom didn't even bother to make up a story. Do you know what she did? She agreed. She told her son he was right and that it was strange that I didn't have feet. Then she told her Twitter friends about me, the shoeless elf, and a friend wisely replied that elves don't need shoes because they fly! It's obvious my household did not read my book or they would have remembered I fly to the North Pole while the children are sleeping to report on good and bad behavior. I don't need shoes to fly, now do I?

I then spent the next few nights moving all about the house. The mom insisted upon placing me out of reach even though children know that if they touch me, I lose my magic. She even tried placing me atop the vanity mirror in the bathroom but couldn't get me to stay still and moved me out of there, thank God. There was one night when I worried I wouldn't be moved at all until the mom suddenly remembered and jumped out of bed to find me a new spot at 3 in the morning.

A couple of times, I was day dreaming when I heard my name being screamed. The mom was a little upset, yelling, "The Elf saw that! He'll tell Santa and you'll get no presents!" Wow - someone was really having naughty behavior that day and I almost didn't catch it.

Sometimes the mother couldn't get the story straight and said, "Santa is watching." Well, that's sort of true. He's watching, but only with the help of the elf minions who work down in the trenches. Without us, Santa wouldn't know a thing. He'd give presents to the naughty and coal to the nice if it weren't for us.

There was one day when the twins were being particularly naughty and I started to feel sorry for the mother. She tries with them, she really does but sometimes those boys are just out of control. I have a newfound respect for twin moms. I noticed that the mom says things in desperation, trying to evoke good behavior. I almost laughed when she told her twins that not only was I watching, but so, too, were Santa, Santa's cameras, the Grinch, the Gruffalo (who the heck is he?) and someone called karma. As if we all work as a team - yeah, right. I've never even met the Grinch.

I was kept busy writing down names on my list. Both boys leaped from the naughty column to the nice column and back again. On days when the boys were cranky from hunger or fatigue, my presence would only result in a temporary reform in their behavior. Sometimes, the boys would look up at me, consider their actions and go right back to doing what it was they weren't supposed to be doing. Other times, especially in the freshness of morning, the boys would immediately halt the offending behavior and apologize with sincerity.

The best part of the day was always in the morning when the twins would wake up and come looking for me. I almost giggled out loud from my perch next to their beds when they ran out of the room without noticing me. I would play hide-n-go seek all day if I could.

I hitched a ride back to the North Pole with Santa when he came to bring presents to the twins I'd been monitoring. While I'd love to boast that my presence greatly improved behavior, I'll admit that I only helped things out some of the time. Then why did Santa come? Well, I actually grew to love the little boys in my temporary home and so I, um, cheated. I used a pencil when making my lists and let's just say I did a bit of erasing while on the job. Every child deserves presents.

Adapted to Mad About Multiples from a post to Chalk and Cheese Chronicles. Akemi intends to go to Michaels to pick up some little shoes and some stick-on googly eyes for the elf when he returns before Christmas next year.

Halloween Party at Themefest

The annual Gemini Crickets Parents of Multiples Halloween party is always an amusing event. A colorful blur of about 90 costumed kids (plus their parents) filled the party venue at San Jose's Themefest. Orange pumpkins clung like vines to their mothers, black cats accessorized in neon pink and a couple of Little Red Riding Hoods cut a rug on the dance floor like you woudn't believe. T  n 1 and Th 2 (Thing 1 and Thing 2) thought it would be fun to pick away at the lettering on their shirts, leaving people to guess what they were, like a game of Wheel of Fortune. Buzz Lightyear worked the room at rocket speed. Who knew he liked to play Pacman, sing karaoke, wolf down cupcakes and sail aboard pirate ships? The guy was everywhere.

The First Time I Didn't Log a Poop!

It all started with a single entry: Baby A 2:21pm 1 ounce consumed.

Fast forward a couple of weeks, and things were ramping up ever so slightly. Baby A 1:20am 4 ounces, 5am 4 ounces, 8am 2 ounces, 9:15am 3.5 ounces and so on. Baby B 1:30am 4 ounces, 3:30am 4 ounces, 6:15am another 4 ounces and so on. Thus, on that particular day in late November 2004, I can tell you that my newborn twins had consumed over 24 ounces each and had nursed a meager 30 and 40 minutes, respectively. We changed a combined 12 wet diapers and 2 poopy diapers. I pumped at 1am, 5:30am, 10am, 4pm and 7:15pm.

Are you dizzy yet?

Writing Motherhood: First Words and Other Firsts

Today, we at Mad About Multiples will be joining a circle of other bloggers as we explore Writing Motherhood via the writing prompt: First Words and Other Firsts. We'll be throwing up posts throughout the day, so check back often for our take on firsts. If you have a twins-related "first" you'd like to share, please feel free leave a comment.

“First Words and Other Firsts: Open any baby diary and you will find whole pages devoted to firsts: first smile, first words, first friends, first birthday. Why are firsts so significant? Because they represent a beginning. Because they push us beyond what is familiar and comfortable. Because they jolt us out of the numbness or everyday life and bring us back to our primitive selves when we saw a world through a child’s eyes. Keeping in mind that first experiences do not end with babyhood, write about a first: the first day of kindergarten, the first day of college, the first grandchild. Or simply begin with the writing start “the first time” and write down the first thing that comes to mind.” 

Recent Events for Gemini Crickets

If you're a member of Gemini Crickets Parents of Multiples of Silicon Valley, you have no doubt taken part in some of the great events we have had lately:

Field Trip to the Palo Alto Junior Museum and Zoo:
This morning was a field trip to the Palo Alto Junior Museum and Zoo. From their website: The Palo Alto Junior Museum and Zoo is a kid's place to think, create and play. All Junior Museum and Zoo exhibits allow children to become physically involved and immerse themselves in the essence of life, to poke, to prod, to pull, to pick up, and to smell. The Zoo is home to more than 50 exotic and native animals, of which at least half are brought into classrooms as part of the Junior Museum and Zoo's science outreach program with local schools. Some of the animals include bobcats, raccoons, jungle bats, hedgehogs, ferrets, snakes, and an owl. 

I went with my 4.5 year old twins and my 2 year old. (My parents came along as well, although it is such a small place, that I could have easily managed it on my own - after all, I took all 3 kids on my own to Children's Fairyland in Oakland a couple of weeks ago and it was just fine.) There were many sets of twins there from Gemini Crickets and even a set of cute baby triplets! What fun! These two cuties wore their Gemini Crickets t-shirts to show off.

Dad's Panel at the New & Expectant Parent (NEP) Meeting:
This is always a lively meeting and this year it did not disappoint! We had three panelists - Dads to 10-month-old-twins, 16-month-old twins and 7-month-old twins (plus a 3-year-old). Christine from the NEP team provides the following summary: The attendees (a group of 25-30) had a lot of good questions--some were around scheduling (should you keep them on the same schedule and how do you do it), feeding the babies (breastfeeding, bottles, etc and how the dads can help when moms are breastfeeding), questions on what the first few months were like, & how to give older kids attention with twin babies at home. A quick highlight of some of the tips that seemed to resonate well with the Dads in the panel were:

• Accept all the help that is offered to you!  Don't turn down any help!
• Outsource wherever possible (house cleaning, self prep dinners, gardner, night nurse)
• Get the babies on the same schedule.  The Panel suggested to wake the other baby when one baby is awake.
• Make changes related to older children before the babies come--such as changing rooms, starting school or day care (so the older child does not associate it with the babies' arrival and can get adjusted to the change)
• Listen to the Dads—they are trying to help!  When they say to take a nap and they will care for the babies, take advantage of the time and take a nap!! 
• Ultimately, do what works for you and your family—it is different for everyone and can involve trial and error to figure out what will work best for you!! 

There is a full list (8 pages!) of the Dad's Tips from this meeting, available to Gemini Crickets members on Big Tent. If you are not a Gemini Crickets member and would like to join, click here to learn more.

Movie Nights to Mama Mia and Sex in the City:

Akemi reports: Ok, so the parking at Santana Row is awful most summer evenings, but after I finally found a place to park, I was happy to be mingling with Gemini Crickets moms and their friends and friends-of-friends. When I arrived, Carla, our movie night planner, was busy greeting everyone as they settled in for drinks under a canopy of oak trees at El Jardin Tequila Bar. We had just enough time to savor our drinks and some appetizers before heading for the movies. At the Sex and the City showing, I didn't talk much, but I enjoyed the night immensely. If not for these movie nights, I don't think I'd ever put aside the time to go out to the movies. Now I can proudly say that I've been to TWO movies this year. That's a huge accomplishment for a mom of twins!

Bocce Ball Social:

Co-President Sally reports: We had a great turn out at our Bocce Ball kick-off social with about 55 members attending, the majority bringing along their partners which is always fun. After a few drinks at the bar & plenty of socializing, the Bocce Ball staff gave us some instruction on how to play the game. Before we could get started, the food was served so we all tucked in to some delicious calamari, bruschetta & anti pasti. The pizzas were devoured and, as is always the case, there were not enough desserts! We took over four courts and all had a very entertaining time, some taking the game more seriously than others...guys!

A sample of our upcoming events include:

• New & Expectant Parents Meeting on Equipment on Tuesday, September 9th at 6:15pm at Saratoga Library - NOTE: prospective members are always welcome to join this meeting for free. Babies are welcome and dinner will be served!
• General Meeting on "Creating Resilient Families" (by Gloria Moskowitz-Sweet from Parents Place on Tuesday, September 9th at 7:30 pm at Saratoga Library
• Fall Family Picnic on September 21st (this is a members-only event - be sure to RSVP today, if you haven't already)

If you're not a member yet, join us today! Even if you can't make events easily (hey, we know how it is!), there is a great support system and network on our Big Tent group. Forum discussions, playgroups, newsletter articles and used clothing and equipment sales are just a few of the other benefits of membership with Gemini Crickets.

Choose a Favorite!

NOTE: This post is to be taken in jest...

It's hard to raise twins. Everyone wants the same toy. Everyone wants to be first. We spend so much of our time trying to encourage fairness and sharing while at the same time promoting each twin's sense of individuality, yada yada. As busy parents, we have limited resources in terms of time and energy. Splitting up those limited resources between twins is draining, to say the least. What's a parent of twins to do?

Choose a favorite! Read on to learn how...

Slipping Around in Flip Flops

By the time I was 6 months pregnant with my twins, the only shoes my poor, bloated feet could comfortably squeeze into were flip flops. I wore flip flops day in and day out throughout the hot summer months and into the chill of autumn. When I looked out the window and saw rain, I pulled out my rain coat...and my flip flops. Only in a balmy climate like California could I pull off such fashion schizophrenia.

As my pregnancy progressed, I found it harder and harder to move about with any speed. I shuffled along at a slow pace, my feet stuffed into flip flops. When I was about 7 months along, I made the requisite pilgrimage to the holy land of baby gear, Babies R Us, hoping to stock up on some newborn essentials. As I set about browsing through the bountiful aisles, nature called (of course) and so I detoured toward the store restrooms to deposit my teaspoon of pee.

My eyes scanned the store for the restroom signs. Bingo! I headed over, my bladder nearly bursting. I pushed open the first and then second sets of doors and headed toward a stall. I was almost at my destination when suddenly, the ground gave way beneath me and I fell with a hard, bone shattering thud.

If Liberace had multiples...

I happened across this post on Babble and whoa, is this ever a crib with flare! While the Duetta Twin/Triplet crib can certainly accommodate your bundles and bundles of little joys, this is just so over-the-top. I'm more Amish in my decorating style, preferring boring clean, simple lines so I'm definitely at odds with the entire line of Little Miss Liberty Round Crib Company. (Well, if forced to choose, I'd go with the Winnie the Pooh Phraseology Twin Crib and lose the dramatic chateau netting.) If Liberace had procreated twins, he'd have no doubt opted for one of these round or heart shaped (oh, my aching heartstrings!) cribs, accented, of course, in miles of pink plumage. This line should have been featured somewhere in the film, Little Miss Sunshine. Little Miss Liberty is pageantry to the extreme.

Do you remember Casey Kasem, the creator and countdown emcee for American Top 40? He and his designer/actress/entrepreneur wife Jeannie, founded this crib company when they were counting down the days to baby. You know, I'm staring hard at a picture of Mr. Kasem and I just don't see him as a pink lace and pink bow kind of guy. I can't ever imagine my twin boys starting out life in a heart shaped crib, but lest I be tempted, the $2200 price tag puts me out of the running for sure.

How does this crib inspire YOU? I'll be can-caning my way to the Moulin Rouge, but drop me a note!

Original Mad About Multiples blog post.

Evolution of a Mom Bag

My longtime friend Lisa and I carry identical backpacks. I'm sure she wouldn't exactly disagree that although we both aspire to be minimally fashionable, we sometimes fail miserably (well, I probably should speak for myself), our sense of practicality trumping our sense of fashion. We know that we look like side-by-side dorks when we're out together, marching into a coffee shop in our mom uniforms of matching brown backpacks and comfortable workout clothes. We've tried out other backpacks, purses and such, but we always go back to our matching backpacks, back to the tried and true. And when we do, it can get confusing. Sometimes, I will run off with her backpack thinking it's mine; other times, she will rifle through mine looking for something of hers (usually her wallet or cell phone). Look closely, however, and all is not the same. While she prefers to toss her wallet into the depths of the roomy main compartment, I prefer to slip mine into the discreet zippered pocket along the back panel. But we agree that the smaller, outer pocket is the ideal place to keep our lipsticks close at hand. We know what's important here.

When I was a new mom nervously venturing out with two babies, I'd gone the sylish route, accessorizing my double stroller with diaper bags by Fleureville or Skip*Hop. I eschewed what I deemed to be an ordinary diaper bag. I knew I wasn't a cool mom, but thought a cool looking diaper bag might be a step in that direction. I even purchased a Baby Sherpa diaper bag which, with its pockets within pockets, had me hoping I'd be soon be zipping my way to an organized life. However, all of these bags just didn't work for me as a mom of twins. Most diaper bags are made to house the travel essentials of just one baby, not two. If a mom of a singleton carried two changes of clothes for her baby, I needed four changes and so on. These bags were not designed to cart around the essentials of twin babies. Besides, I could never get the straps of those diaper bags to stretch the length between the handlebars of my double stroller. I always had to hang it lamely off just one side.

Gemini Crickets POM of Silicon Valley Auction Fundraiser

The only thing I ever won, I won at a Gemini Crickets auction fundraiser. There were the silent auctions, the live auctions, and of course, my fave, the good old-fashioned raffle drawings. I love the excitement of plunking my tickets into the bags, rubbing each one between my fingers for good luck. But I almost never win. I used to plop my business card into those fish bowls at various local eateries, hoping to win a complimentary burrito or something, but it never happened. I just don't win things. I leave comments on mommy blogs, describing my ill-fitting wardrobe, or the bags under my eyes, in hopes that the blog owner will pick my name and give me a free t-shirt or a makeover, or something. But I've yet to win anything. No free t-shirts, no makeover, zilch. Nada.

Last year was not my year as far as Gemini Crickets auction winnings go. But the year before that? That was my golden year. I actually won something! One thing, actually. My name alone was plunked out of a bag that read, "Hiller Aviation Museum" - yes! I won! I won! For a whole year, my family got to go check out planes. Ok, so that's really not my type of thing, but still, I'd won something, hadn't I? Finally, a winning ticket! And my two boys had fun toddling about this small but wonderful museum.

All You Need is a Lollipop...or Sometimes Not!

The wee driver of the shiny teal convertible turns to me and smiles as if to say, "This is the life, isn't it?" With one hand casually gripping the wheel and the other hand tasked with holding a grape lollipop at the ready, my three-year-old J is the picture of a carefree existence. I smile back, but he has already shifted his attention elsewhere. On a TV just in front of him, a friendly blue dog and his friendly pal Joe have just encountered a moon fairy. "It's Blue's Clue's, Mom! " chirps J, through sticky lips stained purple, making him look as if he really could be one of Blue's friends. Somewhere just outside his consciousness, a stranger is circling his head like a gnat, snipping away at his hair with scissors, but J hardly notices. J is having a blast.

It's haircut day for my shaggy haired twin boys. We'd been trying out different salons with mixed success. Today, we're at a salon which specializes in children's cuts. While I've yet to find the perfect hair salon for my boys (a stylist here cuts hair with her cell phone glued to her ear which is so annoying), it meets a couple of big needs: convenience and seat belts at every station. This salon's gimmick is lollipops (the mini kind), which they award to their pint-sized customers at the end of the session or, in our case, whenever it's deemed necessary. They also have mini-vehicles for the kids to sit in. There's a TV and a loft full of toys.

A Winter Wonderland For The Gemini Crickets Family Holiday Party

Living here in the Silicon Valley where it almost never snows, we can't exactly step out the door and experience a winter wonderland. But with the chill of an overdue winter finally in the air, the twinkling lights of all those decked out houses finally feels just about right. I'd love for my twins to discover the joys of an old-fashioned winter. I want to watch their faces as their feet sink into the crunch of new fallen snow. I want them to behold the sight of sleighs lined up outside a cozy, snow-covered cabin. Cue the Bing Crosby tunes and let's celebrate winter!

True, Silicon Valley is no stand-in for the wintry slopes of Lake Tahoe. No one gets all fuzzy with Norman Rockwell nostalgia when they head to Silicon Valley for the holidays. And while we can't ice skate in the glow of The Tree at Rockefeller Center, we can teeter on ice skates in the shadow of palms at San Jose's Downtown Ice, adjacent to Christmas in the Park. We may be in balmy Silicon Valley, but we can certainly sample a bit of wintertime fun.

So when Gemini Crickets POM of Silicon Valley announced plans for a family holiday party at the library come winter wonderland, I went all dizzy with excitement. After all, who doesn't love a party? The Gemini Crickets Halloween party had been a rolicking success and with the same awesome event team planning the holiday party, I knew this was a must-attend event. The only catch was the start time of 3pm, smack in the middle of my kids' naptime. My plan was to tire my kids out in the morning, put them to bed early, and hopefully have them wake up in good moods in time for the party. Of course, only part of my plan worked. My kids spent the morning running around and exhausting themselves (a good thing) and they went down for naps early (another good thing), but then they awoke in horrible moods (not a good thing). But several outfit changes (mom, kids) and mood swings (mom, dad, kids) later, we piled into the mini-van and headed to the party, our moods turning cheerful as I cranked the holiday tunes.